So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
