the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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