I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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