I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
