I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize