i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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