Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
