I am in a vortex of obligation.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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