Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
