You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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