its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
