Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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