She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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