i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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