xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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