Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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