Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
