shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
