What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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