If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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