What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
