He had one of those small greek statue penises
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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