you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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