dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
