no, he came in my armpit
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
