I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
