Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
two words: eviction party
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
