I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize