So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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