So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
