Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
