do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i now understand why vodka
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
