Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
