Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
