Cold hands, warm shart.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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