Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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