well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
