is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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