Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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