I must be too annoying 4 u.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
