Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
