Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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