I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize