I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
