I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
