thus making me awesome and them whores
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
