I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
