I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
