FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
