Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
zippers are such a cool invention
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
