Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
