So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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