thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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