I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
