We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
