Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
