If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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