I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
