I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize