I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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