Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
