I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize