Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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