I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
