when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
