how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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