He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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