I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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