Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
