the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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