omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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