i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Fuck appropriateness.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she told me i tasted like america
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
