come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
