I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
The air taste purple.
Randomize
