Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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