If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
